We're like a lot better than the average bears
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
