Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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