Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
