he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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