Swine flu. Run for my life!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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