Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
