I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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