idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
