She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
