it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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