watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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