My brain says no but my pants say off.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
