Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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