She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
