A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
