For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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