You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
