i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.