Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.