It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.