I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Acid is not a monday night drug
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.