Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
