Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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