woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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