She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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