Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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