i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize
