i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Is her dick bigger than yours?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
