My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
