I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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