Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Randomize
