Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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