Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
