Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I enjoy the company of your penis
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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