ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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