We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
How's work?
Spinning.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
