WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
