The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize