You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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