got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize