But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
