hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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