i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Randomize
