I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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