why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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