Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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