Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
