So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
