We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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