So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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