Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
