wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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