11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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