Me. At least after what I've been through.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Found your dick twin last night
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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