I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
