Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
