: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
