I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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