i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
