Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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