Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
