hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
