Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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