Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize