she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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