He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
